Evolution?ted

So I don't believe that things just happened by chance. it is all to complicated and beautiful for that but I do get scared when I realize that the human body is a machine and that plants and animals change "evolve" and adapt to their surroundings to survive. Like plants that adapt their selves to trap moisture because it is so dry. My fear is that if the plant can do the little changes on its own is there a possibility that it could do larger changes on its own? But there is no evidence for larger changes ever happening (from one species to another) so I wonder if the ability for minute changes is just one more program from a very large programmer of nature.

Preaching

It is hard to realize that most people don't want to hear of another salvation experience and how your life changed because of it. As Christians we preach the gospel and we know Jesus' words that we will be persecuted because of it and I get the image of some rampaging government angry that we are preaching the gospel to its people but what about those patient people who act interested and kind but inside are groaning "Oh no not another one." I am afraid to preach because I don't want to inconvenience people and i don't want to preach and have it be meaningless. i would feel as if I was doing it wrong like I had missed some key and that if I just approached another way and did not preach head on or tell my story that people would get saved but Isaiah spent his entire ministry preaching to a people who he knew would not listen but he did it anyway because God told him to. Also In Russia God told me that my testimony had power and I that I was to use it and when I did Igor's heart was moved to listen to me. He opened up to me and the story stayed with him days later. I know that Tim Awtrey in Bulgaria said that your approach to non-Christians should be slow and not filled with a lot of speech about Christianity but mostly friendship evangelism but he always pushes boundaries and he has a gift for it. He can push a little and get a conversation out of it that had the Bulgarians asking questions and he not boldly preaching to them. I do not have that talent and I wish I did. I am blunt about the truth. i am perceptive and I like to work to help people with their physical and emotional needs. i also like to teach people about God's truth.

Is part of our "persecution" to preach and have people be kind and hope that a seed will be planted for later. I want to be thought well of. i think my biggest fear is to not be thought well of and it is much easier for me to handle harsh persecution for the cause of the gospel than to have somebody be patient and kind but on the inside be wanting to just tune me out and get up and leave. i don't want to be looked at as "that" person but i wonder if that is my cross of persecution that I have to bear because I fear it so much.

When passion goes wrong.

I have been reading about St. Francis of Assisi and his female counterpart Clare. My question and fear is what safeguard and boundary do we have to ensure that what we think we hear from God really is from God? St. Francis and Clare obviously had a passion for God and they felt that His command to them was a life of poverty and to Clare to be cloistered away from the world for the rest of her life. Francis was called to preach the gospel to the poor. That I get I may not understand the call to poverty but who am I to say that God did not command it. God told him to rebuild His church Francis rebuilt broken down churches. I think that God meant spiritually not literally but again who am I to say that this was not way in which God wanted to bring the spiritual work to pass but For Clare to be cloistered away from the world what good does that do? Could that really be a call from Christ? I don't see it happening it seems counter to what He preached and taught. "Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all men."

So my question then is since Francis and Clare were so desperately devoted to God and they still misheard, maybe, what hope is there for me or any other Christian today? What ensures the correction of my thinking if I am devoted to a lie? I guess I must ask myself too if it is truth that God will only correct me if I am devoted to Him and then where is the balance between trying to earn God's love and help through works and not allowing ourselves to freely sin. Both commands are within the scripture, accept by faith God's help that is undeserved and seek God while He may be found. Seek Him.

Serenity

Today a miracle happened my little niece Serenity Leigh Ann was born. She is 5 lbs. 8oz. and 18 in. long. She is a month and a half early and she has long fingers and toes with a full head of hair. Tammi is doing well my brother was so caring of her during the delivery and God heard prayers around the world and answered them. Serenity is a healthy weight and can breath on her own. She is OK and Tammi is OK. The Lord, creator God, listened and made a beautiful baby girl safe and healthy. Thank you Jesus. Birth is such a dirty process. Fluids and grime and blood and sweat but from that comes a living life. The zo-a breath of life comes into this child and beauty comes from it. It amazing that God would want anything to do with us dirty creatures but HE does. That humbled me tonight. Beauty from grime

What is righteousness?

So I have been thinking today about righteousness. God has a very simple cut and dry set of laws and he says that unless we abide by them we are going against His nature and we will be punished. I read Psalm 7 tonight and it makes that explicitly clear. But I also see the heart of the law, what God meant by it when He wrote it. He wanted us to love others and be good people who others speak well of. The kind of people we all dream of being. We were to be rightly related to Him, put no other god's before Me. We were to love and care for other people and treat them like they matter, don't steal, don't covet, respect your mother and father. We were to be rightly related to ourselves, don't covet-i.e. wanting what someone else has causes us pain when God has provided what He deemed good for us.

The problem I am having is when I see things go against the written law. Jesus' brothers are going to the festival and they ask Him "is He going? he says no but then shows up later. Did He not deceive them? Rahab was rewarded for lying to help the Jews. and missionaries have to withhold the truth about why they are really there, they deceive by not telling the whole truth. Corrie Ten Boom's the "hiding place" describes two sisters. One never lied, ever, even if it meant telling the gestapo that Jews were hiding in their home. Corrie lied and bought stolen goods to get safe passage for the Jews. God blessed and helped both. How does that work?

I want to make sure that Christianity is real and I am not just over looking discrepancies and later on down the road I will loose my faith because I will be eaten up by doubt. I don't want to stop believing. Corrie Ten Boom told the story of how her father explained injustice to her at a very young age. He said that just as a suitcase was too heavy for her to carry while she was young and He had to carry it for her and he will let her carry it when she is able so it is with injustice. For now I will let God carry this too heavy burden and wait for the answers when I can understand them and not be destroyed by them.

Father's don't just love their kids every now and then its a love without end amen.