Contentment

I have have some very hard emotional struggles that so affected me that I was getting physically sick. I have chronic insomnia but praise God that sleeping meds work for me. My situation has not changed but I am learning to be like Paul when he said in Philippians that he can be content in bounty or in drought. I feel feel at peace with God, things are not perfect and I still struggle with fear of Him being evil but feeling His encouragement, help, faithfulness, promise of Himself to me and my good, and learning to stay connected to Him purposefully and feel His blessing on that somehow my situations is just not that hard anymore.

Now I will admit that have been on vacation from school shopped a lot slept a lot hung out with friends a lot watched movies a lot and the weather has been great but I have learned to see truth and right now my eyes are open to it and believe that if I can't see again for fear that they will open again. Learning the truth that things will not always go well but God still loves me and is not punishing me has helped.