Image bearers of God -what a beautiful thing

Though marred through the fall humanity still bears the image of God. I have been in some pretty tough places teh last couple of months and my friends have really showed up. Jen and James have let me live with them and they have been so generous. Samuel has helped me with my car picking me up for class and ferrying me places and tonight as Jen and I were working on my car a man stopped to help us with it. He did not know us but he worked hard to try to fix it. Though marred hunamity still bears the image of God.

God has if for no other reason pun me at FWBBC to find soem men to restore my image of men with.
-Jared
-Stephen
-Jacob
-Thomas
-Samuel
-Kevin

They respect women, treat them like queens, opne doors, pull out chairs and not because they are beautiful or the men want to date them but because they are women and deserve to be put on pedestals. These men care for womens hearts and want love and companionship and tenderness and beauty and understanding in return. They are not predetors who seek so they can get but they have hearts some wounded that are able to be wounded and need love and desire romance. They are men, strong, dominant, masculine, but they also need to be sheltered. I did not believe men were like this. I thought they could not be hurt because they did not care and had no desire to be loved but that is not true. Men are just as in need of love and vunerable and able to be hurt as women. They want love to not just bodies. They need to recieve in relationships too. They want to give to a lady and make her feel loved not to try to ignore her or sleep with her but so that she can feel loved. Mens hearts hurt and want to fix womens hearts.

Do I really need faith?

God has been speaking to me that I need to have faith. That I need to just believe His word is true and that I will not be able to approach all doctrinal things logically some of will just have to be excepted. He has shown that He is present in this life and involved in mine so must just trust Him and accept that His word is true. He will take care of those not believers about apologetics and arguments that is not my job. Faith must be the foundation stone before He can start adding Christian character into my life: love for others, self control, patience, perserverence, etc. (2 Pet. 2:1-8, Gal. 5:22-23). Beliveing Him without more proof is the first step. He has shown Himself worthy now I just need to believe that and trust Him not fearing teh unknown: that He might not be real or not be of upstandign caring character.

My week

Prayer needs:
-Money for Bulgaria and if I should add that to this summer ($2500)
-A place to live that is not my house (preferably without me having to work)
-A Christian community
-How to get all of my meds filled for the summer

What God has been saying this week
-Don't be scared. There is much darkness, serial killers exist people live with no empathy for others. Evil is out there. How can I deal with that? I training to be a counselor, I can't deal with that reality. Answer: I don't have to. God is the light that stepped into the darkness and depravity, it is His job to carry this suitcase. It is too heavy for me.
-Sexual sin is a reality that I need to be aware of and on guard against and the way I need to guard right now is not yoking myself with someone who will not be equal to me. Not meaning less or more worth but maturity, ect. there is a guy that I like but he is not a mature Christian and right now does not show a heart rending for sin. Me wanting him has caused me to dull my heart to God and wanting a sinless life and wanting His things. I need to guard myself from choosing a mate that will not edify me.
-Mercy: God's grace and restoration to be able to want the things HE wants and to work in His kingdom for His things and to pick up where I left off by repenting is always available. If I want to turn back to God He will let me and I get to start walking with Him again.

Ravish me so I may be chaste

BATTER my heart, three person'd God; for, you
As yet but knocke, breathe, shine, and seeke to mend;
That I may rise, and stand, o'erthrow mee,'and bend
Your force, to breake, blowe, burn and make me new.
I, like an usurpt towne, to'another due,	5
Labour to'admit you, but Oh, to no end,
Reason your viceroy in mee, mee should defend,
But is captiv'd, and proves weake or untrue.
Yet dearely'I love you,'and would be loved faine,
But am betroth'd unto your enemie:	10
Divorce mee,'untie, or breake that knot againe;
Take mee to you, imprison mee, for I
Except you'enthrall mee, never shall be free,
Nor ever chast, except you ravish mee. -John Donne God forgives me when I wander away and choose men over Him. I repent and He forgives me. He allows me to follow Him again and even reminds me of life with Him, all He has done for me, and promises to do for me but the first guy that comes along that I find mildly attractive or the first opportunity I have to present my past life to people for acceptance I take it. I leave God a thousand times a day. I say to Him I know that You have the true answers but I want the world's answers. I keep thinking it won't all fall on my head. If can keep repenting God won't let it fall on my head and eventually I will believe God has the answers and want His answers more than the worlds but I keep getting seduced by the world in seconds I choose it over God. I am so sorry God. Please help me. Please I want to follow You help me to want to follow you more than I want the things of the world. Please my heart seems weaker. I can't stop revive my heart again. I repent for choosing men and the things of the world over You: mans opinion, romance, sex, cigarettes, comfort, lack of emotional pain, etc.. God I believe in your forgiveness, renew my heart. I am here and I surrender. I wait. Sara

You made a man lame? Why?

God causes things to happen to show that is what is needed for that situation. This smacks at my sense of justice to say "So you screw things up just so you can show that are you the one who can fix them?" That's stupid and it causes me undue pain! What kind of God would do that or need to do that to be known?" Then I realize how brilliant and merciful that is. God catches our notice so we can see Him to be saved. God will cause despair so that we can see that He is our Joy all so that we can believe in Him and be saved. It is not about God fixing our lives it is about Him being known and us being saved. I don't like it but I also love it. My problem is that I like comfort too much and when God does not give it to me I don't like it. I don't want to see things His way but when I do what He does starts to seem more logical I may not like it but I can see why He does it and I can say I don't understand you with peace and not fear.

worship

When God is tender and loves me it makes me want to prostrate myself at His feet and let it be spoken that He is much and I am little. I keep thinking that it comes by power and by force but it doesn't.